authentic Archives - Finding Your Path To Freedom

LANGUAGE OF LOVE

Published on February 11, 2025

When Valentine’s Day approaches, people in America as well as in other countries, naturally think about love.

Unexpectedly, my mind gravitated to the wildly popular book, “The Five Love Languages,” by Gary Chapman, Ph.D., author, speaker, and counselor.

In his book, he explains five ways people express and receive love.

Words of affirmation
Quality time
Physical touch
Acts of service
Receiving gifts

As you look at this list, take a moment to identify the way you like to show love to others. Also, determine which kind of action from others makes you feel loved.

As a counselor, Gary knows that many marriages have been saved when both the husband and wife knew how their partners desired to receive love. And marriages also became strong when both partners understood the way their mates preferred to express love to other people and were willing to allow time and space for that to happen.

This kind of knowledge and understanding can also improve interactions between parents and their children, with dating couples, among roommates, between fragile teenagers, or in any setting where dialogs take place.

I remember my younger days when I roomed with two friends. We enjoyed one another but sometimes lacked good communication because our viewpoints were so different. However, we were able to understand and accept each other better after learning about the five love languages and realizing we each showed love to others in different ways.

One friend communicated her love through doing “acts of service” and being available whenever a need arose. My other friend showed her love by using her gift of mercy and imparting “words of affirmation” to everyone she met. Since my love language was “quality time,” I relished the chance to spend unhurried time with one person at a time. That way I could listen to them, encourage them, and let them know they matter to me. Happily, those roommates and I are still in touch after all these years.

The discovery of the five love languages also shifted my understanding of my caring mother, who loved me faithfully all her life. I never recognized that Mom expressed her love for me though “acts of service.” And what she longed to receive from me was “words of affirmation.” I wish I could have had more time to love her that way before God took her to heaven.

It’s wonderful to be loved by others, but the best way to fill our life with love, is to receive the love of God.

God embodies all the languages of love! Love from our Father is available to us every moment.

He can help you express genuine love to others and receive the kind of love He knows you need most.

I have loved you, my people,
with an everlasting love.
With unfailing love
I have drawn you to myself.
Jeremiah 31:3 (NLT)

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Mary’s Heart

Published on December 20, 2024

The song Mary Did You Know? always moves me to tears. I can only imagine the emotions that swirled in Mary’s heart when the angel Gabriel presented the life-altering news that she would give life to the Son of God.

Have you ever wondered how Mary had the courage to respond to such a shocking message? She didn’t whisper a soft yes. She boldly declared, “Behold, the Lord’s bond-servant; may it be done to me, according to your word.”

The reasons why young Mary accepted her mission so willingly is beautifully described by Debby Thompson, who writes under the banner of Living With Eternal Intentionality®. With her permission, I’m sharing the following excerpt from her December blog, “Mary Said Yes.” I also invite you to read the rest of Debby’s story. http://www.debbythompson.com/gps/2020/11/16/mary-said-yes-to-god

Mary said Yes to God—to His will, to His plan, to His call on her life. Her destiny was contained in her response, and I am astounded each time I read it! How was this humanly possible for one so young, so innocent?

A closer look at the text sheds light on her faith-filled choice.

Mary said Yes to God because she knew the Word of God.

And

Because she knew the Word of God, she knew the Person of God.

And

Because she knew the Person of God, she was prepared to say yes to the opportunity of God.

Her song (Luke 1:46-55) is saturated with Old Testament teaching where she exclaims the character of God, the faithfulness of God, the power of God, even the priorities of God. The significance of her response is steeped in the significance of Scripture. And here the connective gem emerges:

Knowing her God and knowing His Word laid the foundation for Mary to say Yes to God with pure, simple faith.

The God that Mary knew invited her into His plan, and Mary said yes. She chose to believe (Luke 1: 45). She chose to obey.

Friends, in this divine season let us look for ways to deepen our love of God's Word and our knowledge of Him. Then, like Mary, we will be able to say yes to whatever invitation God presents to us in the coming year.

A Heart of Gratitude

Published on November 26, 2024

The days have rolled around to Thanksgiving week, a blessed time of the year. We naturally contemplate all the ways we can be thankful.

Below is a profound quote that focuses on gratitude, which means a general appreciation of life. The words filled my mind with possibilities. Perhaps you will feel the same.

It tells of simple ways our lives could change if we view our situations with a heart of gratitude. We can easily concentrate on things that are happening in our lives that we wish were different. However, looking at them through eyes of gratitude can change everything. As the first line says: Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life!

Gratitude unlocks life's fullness. - Melody Beattie

If you choose gratitude, what difference
might that make in your current situation?

To share your answer, post your comment below!

Creative Connections

Published on October 30, 2024

While perched on a comfortable chair in the nail salon, I relished the chance to relax and devour more chapters from my favorite author’s book. Meanwhile, my sweet Vietnamese friend, Lily, created a beautiful set of newly-painted toenails for me. Afterwards, she pulled out her phone to show me the latest picture of her adorable young daughter.

I continued reading while waiting for my toenails to dry. When I turned and reached for my pink and white water container, the woman in the seat beside me smiled and asked, “What are you reading?”

After giving her a brief description, I asked what books she liked. She rattled off a few titles. We laughed about our mutual love of books and also exchanged names.

Mary proudly announced, “I belong to a book club.”

When I responded, “I’m an author,” Mary’s face lite up. “What do you write?”

“I’ve written several books about fear of rejection. They are based on my personal journey of struggling with fear and finding God’s path of freedom. Now I’m passionate about helping others let go of their fear so they can become their authentic self.”

“God has helped me a lot in my life,” Mary said, “but I sometimes still struggle with fear of what others think about me.”

Just then, Ty, one of the other nail technicians, beckoned her to his station for a manicure. Mary smiled at me, “Guess I’m on to part two!”

As she rose I told her, “I have a copy of two of my books in the car and I’d like to give them to you. I’ll connect with you before I leave.”

But a short while later, Mary reclaimed her original spa chair, prompting me to ask,

“What happened?”

“Ty asked me to wait here because he needed to pause briefly and assist another customer. He’ll let me know when he’s ready. Gail, Ty has never done that before. This is all a ‘God thing.’”

I smiled in agreement while enjoying her excitement. “Guess this gives us more time to talk!”

We finished our appointments at the same time, and Mary handed me a note that listed her contact information. As we walked to my car together, I think we both felt like old friends. After signing both books, I handed them to her, along with my contact information.

She planned to read the books and then suggest them to her book club. We promised to keep in touch, which would be easy since she lived only a few blocks from me. Once again, we acknowledged God’s hand in all that had transpired.

A few days later, Mary called about her discovery. “We have a mutual friend—Debbie Burton, whom you know from your Word Weavers critique group. She is the founder and leader of my book club. We taught together at Dover Shores Elementary.”

A few weeks passed. I was already scheduled to do a book signing with two author friends at a bookstore in a neighboring city. When I realized that my good friend Susan, who usually comes with me to these events, would be out of town, Mary’s name popped into my mind.

When I sent an email to Mary inviting her to go with me and help at the bookstore, her answer didn’t catch me off guard. It simply reminded me of myself many years ago when I held back from saying yes to opportunities if there were unknowns involved.

“I received your email last night,” Mary said, “but I wanted time to think about it a bit. Thank you for asking me. I think I’m ready to take a giant step out of my comfort zone and accompany you.”

I was proud of her for saying no to her fears and taking a step forward. Even though it was her first time being involved in this kind of event, she adapted quickly and helped me arrange my book table. I watched her delight as she met the other two authors as well as the people who wandered into the bookstore and stopped at our table. Our friendship deepened because of our adventure.

God wasn’t finished with His creative connections at the nail salon. During my next appointment, a similar scenario unfolded. I was quietly reading my book, and when I looked up, the woman next to me asked, “What are you reading?”

We exchanged titles of favorite books as well as our names. When Dorothy discovered I wrote about fear of rejection, she said, “I would like to read your book.” I wrote down a title for her.

Like Mary, Dorothy was soon called away to Ty’s station for a manicure. Afterwards, she stopped by my chair. “Could I also have your email because I want to write you after I read your book.”

“Sure, that would be great. I’m glad we met, Dorothy.”

I hope Dorothy will call me, because I sensed sadness in her eyes. She had no pep and gave no indication of happiness. Even when she walked to Ty’s station, her slow steps gave me the impression that she had nothing to look forward to.

God created a beautiful opportunity to offer dignity to Dorothy that day by looking into her eyes, listening to her words, interacting with her, and paving the way for her to read my book that will speak to her heart. I believe God’s plan was for me to be one link in the chain of people who will eventually lead Dorothy to Jesus.

The Lord has made the heavens his throne;
from there he rules over everything.
Praise the Lord, you angels,
you mighty ones who carry out his plans,
listening for each of his commands.
Yes, praise the Lord, you armies of angels
who serve him and do his will!

Psalm 103:19-21
(New Living Translation)

Have you had an unexpected connection with someone recently? Did you sense that God created the opportunity for you? Click below to share your experience. I hope you will preserve your memory by writing in your journal or another special place.

The Imperfect Pot

Published on September 23, 2024

Here's an alt tag for the image: Brown clay pot on gravel.

This endearing story that I saved many years ago popped up in one of my folders this week. Perhaps someone will discover something very important today.

A water bearer in India had two large pots; each hung on an end of a pole that he carried across his neck. One of the pots had a crack in it. The perfect pot always delivered a full portion of water at the end of the long walk from the stream to the master's house. The cracked pot always arrived only half full.

Each day for two years, the water bearer delivered only one and a half pots full of water to his master's house. Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments, fulfilling to perfection the role for which it was made. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its imperfection and felt miserable that it was able to accomplish only half of what it had been created to do.

After two years of what it perceived to be a bitter failure, the cracked pot spoke to the water bearer one day by the stream. "I am ashamed of myself, and I want to apologize to you." "What are you ashamed of?" "I have been able, for these past two years, to deliver only half my load because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your master's house. Because of my flaws, you have to do all of this work, and you don't get full value from your efforts," the pot said sadly.

The water bearer felt sorry for the old cracked pot. With compassion he said, "As we return to the master's house today, I want you to notice the beautiful flowers along the path."

Indeed, as they went up the hill, the old cracked pot took notice of the sun warming the beautiful wild flowers on the side of the path. This cheered the pot some, but at the end of the trail, it still felt bad because it had leaked out half its load. So again the pot apologized to the bearer for its failure.

The bear said to the pot, "Did you notice that there were flowers only on your side of your path, but not on the other pot's side? That's because I have always known about your flaw, and I took advantage of it. I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back from the stream, you've watered them. For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate my master's table. Without your being just the way you are, he would not have this beauty to grace his house."

Actually, all of us are "cracked pots" with unique flaws. Our response to that fact is crucial to what we will become. If we realize our potential, in spite of our imperfections, we naturally reach forward. If we focus on our imperfections, we tend to compare ourselves with others, leading to the false belief that we have nothing to offer. This mindset deceives us into feeling unimportant or insignificant.

By simply acknowledging our imperfections and moving forward, we will discover that we, like the imperfect pot, can be the cause of beauty. Just as the water bearer saw the unique contribution the imperfect pot could make in pleasing the king, so God sees our full potential and will help us bring pleasure to Him and become a source of beauty to others here on earth.

[Source unknown]

Magnifying Glass

Published on August 31, 2024

A few months ago, a newsletter from a friend caught my attention because of the way she dialogued with God about this verse:

And Mary said, “My soul magnifies the Lord,
and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior.”
Luke 1:46, 47 (ESV)

She asked God, “When Mary says her ‘soul’ magnifies the Lord,’ what does that mean, Lord? How do I do that…how can my soul magnify You? Please show me what that means.”

God led her to this definition of “magnify” by Chicago journalist, Patrick T. Reardon:

“Many modern translations begin, ‘My soul proclaims…’ or ‘My soul praises…,’ but I like the earlier word ‘magnifies’ because it’s kind of odd and mysterious. What Mary is saying is that she is like a magnifying glass. By looking at her—by looking through her—other people see God better.”(emphasis mine)

My friend continued with her insights. “It’s not uncommon for someone to say to us, ‘God worked through you.’ We have a high privilege to help others recognize God by our words and actions. By our smiles and willingness to listen.

“However, a new picture has come into focus for me.

“Our task isn’t to do as many wonderful things as we can to represent God and show them God in us. My ordained role is not to reflect God in me. God has chosen me to simply stand in His presence, hold a magnifying glass in front of me, and let others look through the glass and see how awesome and amazing God is. God decides what things in my life He wants others to see. We don’t need to promote ourselves. Our role is to promote Him.”

In the past, I was happily aware that I have the privilege of reflecting Jesus to other people. My desire was that when they see ME, they would also see Jesus’ light in me. However, when we hold up a simple hand-held mirror, all we see is our own reflection.

Instead, He wants us to commune with Him in our soul and spirit, magnifying and exalting Him. Singing praises to Him and declaring His glory that always has been and always will be.

As we stand in His presence, we can hold our magnifying glass in front of us. When others look through that glass, they will see a clear view of all that God has brought into being.

O magnify the LORD with me, and let us exalt His name together.
Psalm 34:3 (NASB)

Will you hold up your magnifying glass so others can look through it and see the wonders God has displayed for them? Perhaps start by holding up a real magnifying glass in front of you and praying: “God, thank You that You are in my life and I can come freely into Your presence. Please guide me into opportunities to magnify You while I stand behind You. I praise You that I can have a part in helping others see You and Your works more clearly and glorify You.”

Freedom to Soar

Published on June 28, 2024

Freedom. What would life be like if people of all nations in this vast world desired to live in peace and freedom?

As believers, we long for that to happen. Yet, we know the obstacle that stands in the way: the enemy. He rules the earth now. But at the appointed time, God will abolish the enemy forever and create a new heaven and new earth where His children will be free to dwell in peace and joy.

We cannot solve the problems of this present world. But God has given each of us His power to overcome whatever might be holding us captive in our inner spirits and preventing us from living as a free person in Christ.

I was emotionally captive for many years until I asked God to help me overcome my fears and become the person He created me to be. Gradually, rather than trying to be the person I thought others wanted me to be, I began living as my authentic self.

Recently, I read the powerful story below, which deepened my determination to be authentic and keep soaring in freedom! Perhaps it will help you on your own journey of freedom.

“A farmer once found a baby eagle and raised it with his chickens. The eagle learned to live as the chickens did, never attempting to fly. When a bird-watcher saw the eagle, he bought it from the farmer and attempted to teach it to fly. But the eagle would only run around and flap its wings like a chicken. Finally, the man took the bird to a high mountain. ‘You are an eagle,’ he said. ‘You should fly.’ And he threw the bird off the side of the mountain. At first the eagle cried out in fear, but then it spread its wings and soared into the sky.

“Perhaps that eagle sometimes flew over the old farmyard and missed the chickens. But it never returned to live like them, because now it knew what it meant to be an eagle.

“In a similar way, many believers do not fully understand who they are in Christ. As a result, they miss the incredible blessings God has intended for His people. In a spiritual sense, they never learn to soar free above all creation.

“What would it be like to see ourselves as our loving Father sees us? God says, ‘Anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!’ (2 Corinthians 5:17). We can see ourselves as God does by exercising our faith as we read the Bible, believing what it says about God and what it says about us.

“Isn’t it time to stop listening to what others say about [us] and start listening to God?”

Did you glean some new insights from this narrative? I would love to read your comment in the box below.

Sometimes, it’s easy to believe the lies of the enemy, who whispers negative things about us. His accusations keep us walking on the ground.

But God’s words, which are full of love, are designed to lift us up and give us freedom to soar.

The Lord your God is in your midst,
A victorious warrior.
He will rejoice over you with joy,
He will be quiet in His love,
He will rejoice over you with shouts of joy.

Zephaniah 3:17 (NASB)

The Plans of God

Published on April 24, 2024

My unexpected invitation brought me joy and increased my dependence on the Holy Spirit.

The invitation came from Judy Douglass, the wife of the former president of Cru/Campus Crusade for Christ. For many years, she wanted to create a book called, “Pioneer Women of Cru.” The time had come.

She and her team chose fifty staff women who made an indelible mark on the ministry. Now they needed others to interview the women and write their personal stories. I felt honored to have a part in this wonderful project.

After scanning the list of women, I knew I wanted to write the story of Molly Abraham, who now lives in heaven. It was an easy choice, because I loved Molly and had known her for more than thirty years.

Both Thomas and Molly lived in South India. However, in 1967, while they were temporarily living in Portland, Oregon, a friend of theirs introduced them to Dr. Bill Bright, the president of Campus Crusade for Christ. Dr. Bright challenged them to become staff members, and it didn’t take them long to say yes. Obviously, Dr. Bright sensed that Thomas was a man of faith and vision, because he appointed him India National Director and directed him to return home and begin the India Campus Crusade ministry.

Before beginning their work with students, Thomas and Molly prayed and asked God for 5,000 decisions for Christ during their first year on campus. By the end of the year, 5,067 students had indicated decisions for Christ! That miracle was only the beginning of all that God accomplished through them in their lifetime.

Amazingly, God planned that Thomas, Molly and I would join Campus Crusade in 1967 and go through staff training together at the Arrowhead Springs headquarters. We enjoyed our special friendship, but never dreamed we would see each other again. After all, they were returning to India.

Then, in 1974, God called me to Campus Crusade’s area office in Asia. Originally located in Manila, Philippines, the office soon moved north to Baguio City. Every year the Asia national directors met together in one of the countries. As part of the admin staff, I traveled to each location. You can imagine the thrill of seeing Thomas and Molly at my first national directors' meeting!

Though we enjoyed our yearly visits, the bigger delight came when Thomas was appointed the Central Asia-Pacific director and he moved to Baguio City with Molly and their three children! From then on, our office team became part of Thomas and Molly’s family.

Since Molly was already with Jesus when I began writing her story, I asked the Holy Spirit to show me where to find the information I needed. He prompted me to look in my keepsake box, where I had fortunately saved the four-page newsletter Thomas wrote in celebration of his twenty-fifth wedding anniversary. His letter not only traced Thomas and Molly’s life from 1962-1987, but included details about people, places, dates, and major events. That "golden newsletter" became a framework for all the other input I received.

As I continue to write Molly’s story, I am depending on the Holy Spirit to give me words that will bring glory to God.

Molly and Thomas filled my heart with love and showed me how to live a faithful life. I’ll be forever grateful for the plan of God that brought us together.

The Whispers of God

Published on March 11, 2024

"Wishing to encourage her young son’s progress on the piano, a mother took her boy to a Paderewski concert. After they were seated, the mother spotted an old friend in the audience and walked down the aisle to greet her. Seizing the opportunity to explore the wonders of the concert hall, the little boy rose and eventually made his way through a door marked, ‘No Admittance.'

"When the house lights dimmed and the concert was about to begin, the mother returned to her seat and discovered that her child was missing. Suddenly, the curtains parted and spotlights focused on the impressive Steinway on stage. In horror, the mother saw her little boy sitting at the piano, innocently picking out 'Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star.'

"At that moment, the great piano master made his entrance, quickly moved to the piano, and whispered in the boy’s ear, 'Don’t quit. Keep playing.' Then leaning over, Paderewski reached down with his left hand and began filling in a bass part. Soon his right arm reached around to the other side of the child, and he added a running obbligato. Together, the old master and the young novice transformed what could have been a frightening situation into a wonderfully creative experience. The audience was so mesmerized that they couldn’t recall what else the great master played. Only the classic, 'Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star.'

"Perhaps that’s the way it is with God. What we can accomplish on our own is hardly noteworthy. We try our best, but the results aren’t always graceful, flowing music. However, with the hand of the Master, our life’s work can truly be beautiful. Next time you set out to accomplish great feats, listen carefully. You may hear the voice of the Master, whispering in your ear, 'Don’t quit. Keep playing.' May you feel His arms around you and know that His hands are there helping you turn your feeble attempts into true masterpieces."

For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.(Ephesians 2:10 (NLT)

What might your life be like if you willingly give your own efforts to God and allow Him to transform them into His masterpiece?

The source of this story about Paderewski is unknown. Ignacy Jan Paderewski, who died at 81, was a Polish virtuoso pianist, composer, a statesman who spoke for Polish independence, and president of Poland soon after World War I.

Photo by Nightowl at pixabay.com/users/nightowl-29/

Make Time to Love

Published on February 2, 2024

An older couple posing for a photo in a park.

What is the hardest thing for you to give up on a daily basis?

For me, it’s my time. Since I’m a planner, it’s a continual challenge to release time to spend with people and get involved with activities outside my regular agenda. In the past, I gave more priority to my projects than to people.

However, in recent years God showed me the importance of intentionally letting go of some of my neatly-arranged plans and creating space to enjoy friends and family. Now that people’s names are sprinkled throughout my monthly calendar, my joy has increased and my stress decreased.

This life-changing lesson also brought about a desire to build a deeper and more meaningful relationship with my Uncle Miles. When Aunt Elia went to heaven, his life changed drastically. Mine did, too. Her death was one of many losses among my family members within a short period of time.

In my sorrow, I cried out to God, “Father, please don’t take Uncle Miles from me yet. I can’t say goodbye to anyone else right now. Please let me have more time with him.”

God gave me six more years. Those years became the most memorable ones for me. Uncle Miles and I became close friends, not just family. Our friendship filled the empty places in both of our lives. We began taking turns calling each other every weak—either he from the west coast or me from the east side of the country. We discussed family memories and happenings, but he always wanted to know about me. In turn, I wanted to hear about the highlights and downsides of his life at the retirement center.

It didn’t matter that he was in his 90’s. He stayed engaged in my life. Every fall I flew to Oregon for several weeks to see family and friends. During those times, he and I talked together in his apartment, shared some meals in the dining hall, and ate at a couple special restaurants. Our spontaneous phone calls in between were a treat.

We also began a tradition of taking a day trip together every year. Our favorite outings included drinking in the beauty of the Colombia River gorge and enjoying the majesty of Mt. Hood. Though hindered by his macular degeneration, he amazingly directed our journeys and made sure I didn’t miss any turns.

One year, after delivering Uncle Miles back to the center following our day trip, we sat together in his apartment. Words of encouragement and mutual admiration flowed between us.

Finally, we stood and hugged good-bye. “Honey, thanks for spending time with me. Really enjoyed our visits while you’ve been here and especially our trip today.”

Knowing I was returning to Orlando the next day, we looked into each other’s eyes with deep love. I believe he knew he wouldn’t see me again. I was unaware. Perhaps that’s why God prompted me to say, “Uncle Miles, I’ll see you next time . . . but if not, I’ll see you in heaven.”

Uncle Miles died less than three months later at the age of 97. I’ll be forever grateful to God for showing me how to make time to love my precious uncle so I wouldn’t miss the memories I’ll cherish forever.

What memories do you share with a special person because you chose to give up your own plans and spend time with them?

If you choose gratitude, what difference might that make in your current situation?

To share your answer, post your comment below!

If you choose gratitude, what difference
might that make in your current situation?